Here are the jokes of the week! Written by me, Bri Ribalta!
1). The ancient Saudi Arabian City of Hegra is now open for tourism after sitting undisturbed for 2,000 years. Authorities confessed that Covid was born with a silver spoon in it’s mouth and they just couldn’t say no to this request.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3qJKMA6
Article: http://bit.ly/2Nq0p13
2). Girl Scouts are boycotting cookie season due to palm oil concerns. Before you choose a side in the conflict keep in mind that the Girl Scouts know where you live, date of birth, mother’s maiden name and social security number.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3oe71we
Article: http://yhoo.it/396TKBs
3). The day after Biden’s inauguration, Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Green filed articles of impeachment against President Joe Biden. She broke the news to us at the Capitol Hill basement where she went to feed her flying hobbit.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/365yHx2
Article: http://bit.ly/3c5twkO
4). Dog imitates owner’s limp in what appears to be a show of sympathy. This is proof that cats are still the masters of emotionally abusive relationships, but dogs come in a close second.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3p94THm
5). Canadian police is looking for a thief who was caught on camera leaving a drug store with 14 electric toothbrushes valued at $3,000. Best Crime Stopper tips are coming from dental hygienists who noticed he didn’t bother to steal a single pack of dental floss.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/39awtOZ
Article: http://bit.ly/366dwuL
6). Colorado killer forgot to remove the baggage claim sticker from the two suitcases where he stuffed his victim’s body. Michael’s has been having 20% off coupons in their Sunday papers forever, but this guy couldn’t use it to buy a scrap book. Cheapo!
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3qPbV4F
Article: http://bit.ly/3sJlR1n
7). Americans around the country are sleeping better after Biden’s inauguration. Except for the executives of drug companies, who must be praying for a natural disaster.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2KE1aT9
Article: http://yhoo.it/2NvDl15
8). Dr. Fauci says Covid-19 vaccine is less effective against new mutations of the virus. So don’t fret if you’re at the bottom of the vaccine list, by the time your turn comes you won’t even recognize the name Covid-19.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2LN8Y5R
Article: http://bit.ly/399GRGB
9). North Korea says it’s ‘gravely concerned’ about Australian human rights abuses. Australians should grab a copy of Kim Jong-un’s award winning new book “Internment Camps: Where I Hurt Them all Equally,” where he provides tips and motivational techniques to be better leaders and raise a country’s morale.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3oaQ4mc
Article: http://bit.ly/3c4wMg7
10). A woman in Mexico stabbed her husband after finding photos of the man and a woman on his phone. Turns out the woman in the photo was her when she was younger, but I bet all she saw was una güera in those photos and lost her shit.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3c37bUJ
Article: http://bit.ly/3iEotJ6
