Here are the jokes of the week! Written by me, Bri Ribalta!
1). Burning Man festival has been cancelled for 2021. Organizers want you to remain safe,
strengthen the community and support your local drug dealer.
Tweet:https://bit.ly/3ebBGZc
Article: https://n.pr/3nDXVub
2). CDC says that fully vaccinated Americans don’t need to wear masks outdoors anymore
except in crowded settings, or if they’re ugly. The latter is just common courtesy.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3ueVsIS
Article: https://nwsdy.li/3gXvgii
3). There have been no recent reports of Major Biden biting anyone else, which means that
people are finally behaving in the White House and the stench of death must be gone.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3gEzYkI
4). Elon Musk is only hosting SNL in a few days because producers couldn’t pronounce X
Æ A-12 when they called to book the baby.
Tweet:https://bit.ly/3ebwo07
Article:https://n.pr/3u7vXcB
5). After the 2020 Census, Texas gained two congressional seats and another reason to
avoid Texas.
Tweet:https://bit.ly/3gXBG0S
Article:https://bit.ly/3vGl0PH
6). A town in Kentucky got its first roundabout and it was chaos. Apparently, circles have
long been removed from the school curriculum for their promiscuous shape.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3h3iqyS
Video in Tweet
Article: https://bit.ly/3aWdNmA
7). The Iowa Department of Corrections has passed a new policy requiring inmates to buy
books only from prison-approved vendors. Evidently, IDC prefers inmates spend their
time planning their escape than reading a free book.
Tweet:https://bit.ly/3xFwKnk
Article: https://bit.ly/2RjJQWJ
8). Millions of Americans have skipped their second COVID vaccine, because millions of
Americans are idiots.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2QM2B4Y
Article: https://cbsn.ws/2PNknVe
9). Newsmax has settled a defamation lawsuit and apologized to a Dominion employee for
it’s false claims that the 2020 election was rigged. Leaving this chapter behind,
Newsmax will now focus on Major Biden’s leftist behavior and its threat to the American
people.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2QQOICL
Article:https://n.pr/3udmkJv
10). After the FBI raised Rudy Giuliani’s home earlier this week, Giuliani went on Fox baffled
that the FBI had already searched his iCloud, and pointed upwards. Giuliani is now
working with Abe Simpson to investigate how the Feds knew which cloud was his.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3ebZVGJ
Video in Tweet
Article: https://bit.ly/33aAZZT
