Here are the jokes of the week! Written by me, Bri Ribalta!
1). Hasbro has announced that it’s dropping the ‘Mr.’ from Mr. Potato Head in order to remain more inclusive. Which means that adults in America are now obsessed with the sex parts of a plastic toy, because we can’t help but keep elevating ourselves in this country.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3dTqUr2
Article: http://bit.ly/3q7KulW
2). The judge presiding over the class-action lawsuit against Google is disturbed after the company admitted that even in Incognito mode users are being tracked. So people who believe they can have privacy on the internet DO exist. Interesting!
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3b24txU
Article: http://bit.ly/3r8g1FG
3). A crayon-eating U.S. Marine has launched an edible crayon business. Folks, this is what happens when TLCs My Strange Addiction meets Shark Tank.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2ZU1NMs
Article: http://bit.ly/3r3znvg
4). A symptomatic South Carolina elementary student was held in a storage closet after visiting the school nurse. In their defense, the entire state of South Carolina is keeping people in the closet.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3bK82In
Article: http://bit.ly/3pVzjfS
5). The ex girlfriend of a man who texted her ‘moron’ along with photos and videos of himself storming the Capitol has turned him in. I know what you’re all thinking, ‘I hope he finally finds the love he deserves in jail.’
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3dTFI91
Article: http://wapo.st/3r2DKHb
6). A naked man clutching a bible was shot as he was going door to door in an apartment complex. Well, now he knows that some of us are pessimists and don’t want to hear the good news.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3b0BDhB
Article: http://bit.ly/3bI1z0A
7). BREAKING NEWS: Cocaine is trying to break a multi-million dollar deal with Don Jr. alleging that he’s bad for their image.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/37WPT98
8). In an appeal to be allowed to reopen, sex workers in Amsterdam will be hosting a “peepshow on wheels” next to parliament. Unfortunately, if you come to their place of work to give them the show, members of parliament will not have an incentive to let you reopen business.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3kCbYif
Article: http://bit.ly/37WQtUm
9). Japan has appointed a 70 year old man as its Minister of Loneliness to address the rise in suicide among women. He’s also in charge of managing the nation’s declining birth rates. In other words, Japan has appointed your grandpa to tell you that getting married and having a baby will get rid of your loneliness.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2NKNnfa
Article: http://bit.ly/3q2XoRQ
