Jokes for the Week of 09/13/20 – 09/19/20
Here are the jokes of the week! Written by me, Bri Ribalta!
1). The uterus collector performing unnecessary hysterectomies in ICE detention centers has been identified as Dr. Mahendra Amin. Amin is not worried about losing his job, because he knows he’s more than qualified to work for Trump’s administration.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/35QJPPk
Article: https://bit.ly/3caRIQF
2). Mickey Guyton was the first black woman to perform at the 55th ACM awards show. I’m so glad that after 54 years of struggle they finally found a black singer.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3iLgYzg
Article: https://gma.abc/3iLkaee
3). The only thing a herd immunity mentality has accomplished in the U.S. has been making more people immune to intelligence.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/32Kywpy
4). Kanye, who’s now disputing with Universal Records, is calling the music industry ‘modern-day slavery.’ He signed those contracts so that sounds like a choice to me.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3cf5MIE
Article: https://bit.ly/2FB98Ku
5). City of Opa-Locka, FL voted for repealing the 13 yr ban on saggy pants, a law they admit targets black & Hispanic men. They said it was a step towards providing fairer policies, and in the spirit of fairness both groups will continue to receive the same abuse when arrested.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2RC49eV
Article: https://hrld.us/3cevWvl
6). GOP calls on the Justice Dept. to take legal action against Netflix over Cuties bc it sexualizes children. Apparently Netflix was supposed to put the girls in cages & give them aluminum foil blankets for the GOP to look the other way on child sexual abuse.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/35OTTYX
Article: https://bit.ly/3c9GUlO
7). Oregon GOP senator Fred Girod who walked out to stop climate change vote & even refused to go to work at the Capitol loses house to wildfire. Damn! God must be really mad that Cuties is #7 on Netflix’s Top 10.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3iKMsWm
Article: https://bit.ly/2RF06hN
8). Alexei Navalny – the Russian opposition figure & Putin critic who was poisoned in August says he’ll return to Russia.The near death experience probably gave him more strength to fight, but he’s still no Superman so I’d stay away from any windows when I’m in Russia if I were him
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2ZPqIRI
Article: https://nyti.ms/3iLaCQC
9). Trump tells Fox & Friends that he’ll call in weekly through the election, but Steve Doocy quickly rejected the offer. Doocy is ready to drop the ‘Friends’ from their name to throw Trump off the scent.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3kzG2JZ
Tweet/Video: https://bit.ly/2ZQm3PD
10). On Monday Trump agreed to a hypothetical 4 hour debate with Biden moderated by Joe Rogan on his podcast. So now we know a Biden blow up doll and a bald tattooed guy can keep Trump away from Twitter for at least 4 hours.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3kshgLW
Article: https://bit.ly/2Ei9swY
