Here are the jokes of the week! Written by me, Bri Ribalta!
1). A Louisiana cemetery apologized for the ‘whites only’ provision on their sales contract. They’re very sorry to hear that racism is now frowned upon.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/39x2SPW
Article: http://bbc.in/36qhzlX
2). PETA asks people to stop using animal-related slurs. In response, the animals have released a statement confirming they have no association with PETA.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2YwUzxj
Article: http://bit.ly/3talk8S
3). Research finds that naked mole rats have accents and use it to discriminate against foreigners. The good news is that most humans already knew animals were also racist xenophobic bigots.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/39v5rCa
Medium article: http://cnn.it/36roz1O
4). The Texas Department of Public Safety mistakenly sent an Amber alert for the Chucky doll. The agency reported that the error was a test malfunction, like the movies in the Chucky franchise.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/39xwk8z
Article: http://bit.ly/3tj1rg3
5). China is using anal swabs for COVID testing people who are high risk, have been quarantined, or… have criticized the Chinese government.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3cr8nSe
Article: http://wapo.st/3comMyv
6). An Indian Muslim comedian is in jail for jokes he did not tell, but “…was going to” tell. Still no word on how he will plead on the charge of conspiracy to think.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3pumhXg
Article: http://bit.ly/3pxdRhO
7). Kraft is launching a pink candy-flavored Mac and Cheese for Valentine’s Day. No word yet as to why.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3t598Gt
Article: http://bit.ly/3j3qOO3
8). This week, Jeopardy! contestants did not recognize Dave Chappelle in a photo. I know what you’re all thinking “at least they didn’t confuse him for another black guy.”
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3cr8nSe
Article: http://cnn.it/3t9tjTF
9). A new study finds that money can buy happiness. Every broke person should be compensated for providing data to this study.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3iZYCM1
Article: http://wapo.st/3cqNPt6
