Here are the jokes of the week! Written by me, Bri Ribalta
1). Package thief gets arrested after wearing exact same shirt to court from surveillance footage. He’s either color blind or only owns one shirt, and didn’t have time to steal one for court.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3fieBDe
2). 2020 got the Rockefeller Christmas tree as worn out as the rest of us.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3fkH6QU
3). The argument between which one is better orange juice or apple juice is back on Twitter. And I’d like to go on record as saying that murder free OJ is the best.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2IY9xrZ
3). Some Brits have their knickers in a twist because TV cook Nigella Lawson butters her toast twice. CNN UK has not received word on how the Queen likes her toast to be buttered and as a result tensions are running high in the country.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/35MA2Jo
Article: https://cnn.it/36TjkYm
5). A sinkhole opened up underneath a parked van in Los Angeles. Seems like LA parking enforcement is getting creative with drivers.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2IY9Y5B
Article: https://bit.ly/333TZdb
6). Mexican president makes the decision to flood poor indigenous areas over big city. His reasoning: people with money will make more trouble for me if I flood them.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/36Rfn6w
Article in Tweet
7). An elementary school in France asks parents to not throw their late students over the closed gate. Obviously, it’s a hazard and does not provide enough torture to the parents for being late.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2IYmd1T
Article: https://bit.ly/2IUkZVu
8). A woman in Scotland found a jar with a heart valve in formaldehyde after moving in to a new house. Makes me wonder how many other jars with body parts the previous owner had in the house that they carelessly forgot this one.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3kPNHno
Article: https://bit.ly/2HlfBtH
9). According to a lawsuit, Tyson Foods’ supervisors privately bet money on how many employees would get infected with covid. Supervisors were also denied time off when they had covid symptoms, so it’s possible karma came for them before their bet payout.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2IULnyy
Article: https://bit.ly/36S3Eo4