Here Are The Jokes of The Week! Written by Me, Bri Ribalta!
1). Major, a German Sheperd, will be the first rescue to live in the White House. He has sent this statement to his previous owners: ‘ruff ruff, how do you like me now motherfos?’
Tweet:https://bit.ly/36jVPHk
2). Right before the results came in Trump tweeted that he would be having a conference at The Four Seasons Total Landscaping. Whoever suggested this location was really trying to get the Secret Service to a place where they could pick up a wheelbarrow that could carry Trump out of the White House.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3n4fkdP
3). So Biden and Kamala are the new ‘it’ couple. Their first order of business will be to get coherent sentences trending again.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3paTVkY
4). Lori Loughlin has gone off to her two month vacation in jail. Apparently, she’s so dissatisfied with the hotel’s amenities she would like to speak to the manager.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/38oeNzu
5). California unemployment chief will retire after criticisms of claims backlog. Claimants with pending claims will now be someone else’s problem, just like before she quit.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3n4XV4R
Article: https://bit.ly/369BxQM
6). Two women were taken off an American Airlines flight after one tried to hide in front of her friend’s first class seat as a stunt for their YouTube channel. If they thought this would work, their channel must be for ages five to ‘I eat my crayons.’
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3naP6GR
Article: https://bit.ly/3n4ZCzf
7). Edward Snowden and his pregnant wife are seeking Russian citizenship before their baby’s birth in December. If their request is granted they’re obligated to name the baby Vladimir.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/35bwBvq
Article: https://bit.ly/35cn5sh
8). Baby Shark became the most watched video on YouTube. So it won’t be long before YouTube starts harassing Baby Shark.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3phlwBp
Article: https://bbc.in/32mbVz1
9). 50 birth and 2 monkeys were stolen from an exotic pet store in Florida this week. The thieves who opened a hole through the back of the store seemed to be professionals, but still not a match for Ace Ventura – Pet Detective.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2U8vTcm
Article in Tweet
10). Unfortunately, Kentuckians elected Mitch McConnell again to the Senate, but the town on Rabbit Hash did something right by electing a French Bulldog as their mayor. The beagle and golden retriever who lost the race had more grace than Trump and are now happily serving as the town’s ambassadors.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3mWHaJ4
Article in Tweet
