Here Are The Jokes of The Week! Written by Me, Bri Ribalta!
1). Dianne Feinstein tells Lindsey Graham that the Supreme Court hearing was ‘one of the best set of hearings I’ve participated in’ and gave him a hug afterwards. It’s unclear whether she was referring to the times she was awake or asleep during the hearings, either way she’ll probably be thanking Graham again after she gets the results of her COVID-19 test.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2H8FdJS
Article: https://bit.ly/3dzM0Zb
2). A Sweet 16 party in Long Island left 37 people infected with COVID19. Surprisingly, we can’t blame MTV for the shittiest Sweet 16 ever.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3j1AfvT
Article: https://nyti.ms/3o2D7wi
3). Aaron Tveit from Moulin Rouge! The Musical is the ONLY nominee for the Tony’s Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role in a Musical category. The fact that he might still loose if he doesn’t get 60% of the votes explains why some actors become unhinged after a while.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3lX77rx
Article: https://bit.ly/2H9XF4P
4). A man in India decapitated his wife in what the media called a ‘fit of rage,’ and then carried her head to the police station. Well, I hope he didn’t break anything inside the house or he’ll be charged with two counts of ‘fit of rage.’
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3nTOpCZ
Article in Tweet
5). A French museum postponed their Genghis Khan exhibition after the Chinese government demanded the words ‘Genghis Khan,’ ‘Empire’ & ‘Mongol’ be removed from the show. No word on when the exhibit, which is now for ages 4 through 6, will be open to the public.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3j4ABls
Article in Tweet
6). A cable to the entire Virginia voter registration system was accidentally cut this week. Someone must have accidentally packed giant scissors with their lunch. Happens to me all the time.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2IvCivq
Article: https://bit.ly/3nVBpfY
7). Amy Coney Barret interprets the constitution as it was written 233 years ago. The joke’s on the white men who wrote the constitution, because they sure did not expect people to still be so stupid after 233 years.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3o1pFJ1
Article: https://bit.ly/3nZFWhu AND VIDEO IN TWEET
8). Melania wrote a personal essay stating that the ‘pettiness’ of the media and her ex friend take away from her work with children. It’s true! Those white little girls aspiring to marry rich really need a mentor at a time like this.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/354OjzM
Essay: https://bit.ly/3lPkj1i
