Here are the jokes of the week! Written by me, Bri Ribalta!
1). There’s no doubt in my mind that COVID-19 has the best of intentions for POTUS. No other American has done more for the virus than Trump.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2Gxs64w
Article: https://cnn.it/3l9zuSY
2). Quino, Argentinian cartoonist and creator of Mafalda, died this week. I have more faith in a cartoonist than someone who needs 300 pages to tell me their idea.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3l0pEme
3). Irish Supreme Court rules that Subway bread is not bread because it’s too sugary. Sugary beard does sound really bad for your liver, and we all know how much the Irish care about their liver.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/36rn9VP
Article: https://n.pr/2SkQadF
4). 5 Gray parrots were separated at a zoo in Britain for swearing at patrons. We just need 1 to come moderate the next presidential debate, preferably the one that’s quick and to the point.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3iqZQhc
Article: https://bit.ly/2GbTLbK
5). The White House blocked a C.D.C. order to keep cruise ships docked. I get it! If the ships are docked the dead bodies are just going to stay floating nearby and give the ships away. Duh!
Tweet: https://bit.ly/36r7KF3
Article: https://bit.ly/2SiBcF9
6). German study finds that crows are capable of conscious thought. Next month, the crows will publish their study on the extent of human stupidity.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3cTldXq
Article: https://bit.ly/3n9Qwlv
7). Puerto Rican’s who left the island after Hurricane Maria find a home in Pennsylvania’s Amish country. On Nov 3, we might get a better idea of how that’s working out.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/33qiCkJ
Article: https://nbcnews.to/3irgr4w
8). A Domino’s Pizza delivery driver rubs a tub of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream on his crotch as he waits for the customer to answer the door. This video should be shown in sex ed classes as ‘Get Tested for STDs Before Everyone and Your Momma Finds out you got Something.’
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2SiuT4r
9). After a lawsuit from Vanessa Bryant, there’s a new law in California that makes it a crime for first responders to take unauthorized photos of deceased people at the scene of an accident or crime. Imagine how lost our legislators would be if it wasn’t for celebrity deaths.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/36wbPrB
10). Melania’s new kidneys cost more than what Trump paid in taxes in 2017.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3ijrA7C
Article: https://nyti.ms/3jpQ7Jx
