Jokes for the Week of 08/16/20 – 08/22/20
Here are the jokes for this week written by yours truly, me, Bri Ribalta. Enjoy!
1). The White House has officially declared teachers essential workers. So the school board will finally consider teachers essential. Now if they can pay the ones that survive more money it might not be a total loss. https://cnn.it/2COmEZN
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3hm5di7
2). U.S. Marshals have found a fugitive sleeping on a porch in New Hampshire. Well, sometimes people do look in the most obvious places. https://bit.ly/2Elpi9R
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2QeBRGt
3). Trump tells his supporters to boycott Goodyear tires because the company has banned its employees from wearing MAGA hats and any other politically affiliated clothing at work. This is just an excuse, MAGAts know damn well that their spaceships don’t need tires. https://bbc.in/3gduMR9 Link to Trump’s tweet: https://bit.ly/3aK7CR9
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2YjBGxY
4). Sounds like the MyPillow guy has a crush on Ben Carson. I bet Carson thought he was ‘the pill guy’ when they first met. Video interview between MyPillow CEO Michael Lindell and Anderson Cooper https://youtu.be/spouhfBiQjs
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2YiZrGv
5). According to the new U.S. dietary guidelines, men should limit their alcohol to one drink per day. Sounds like 2020 has given tio another reason to cut the days short. https://lat.ms/3l0iFdE
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3gkdUIE
6). Identical twin sisters in Ohio, who married identical twin brothers and live in the same house are now pregnant at the same time. I can’t decide if this is the beginning of a sci-fi movie or just a comedy where they find our they married the wrong twin. https://on.today.com/3kWHQhv
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2YiXObP
7). The 12th Philly Naked Bike Ride scheduled for 8/29 was canceled because of covid. Don’t worry folks, getting naked won’t ever go out of style. https://bit.ly/2Q6ysJF
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2YgiP77
8). We’re finally gaining ground now that multiple sources have confirmed that a woman born in the U.S. is eligible to run for vice president. But if Kamala wears a tan pantsuit we might be lost.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2FFS0Tr
9). People love coming up with names, but draw a blank when they’re faced with a dairy-free milkshake.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3l9xE52
10). For $150, I guarantee you’ll never forget your hot sauce again.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/32bbhUn
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