Here are the jokes of the week! Written by me, Bri Ribalta!
1). Trump said in a briefing that he’s not a fan of Meghan Markle. Not surprising, Meghan has some badass ‘I don’t like to be grabbed by the pussy’ vibes.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2S1c5Xi
YT Video: https://bit.ly/3cto2yk
2). U.K. to test COVID vaccine on people deliberately infected by the virus. Meanwhile, in the U.S. we have people deliberately getting infected too, but God ain’t got a vaccine for them.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/306sNZu
Article: https://on.ft.com/365kD7G
3). During a Senate hearing, Dr. Fauci had to tell Sen. Rand Paul that 22% is not herd immunity. Well, as an ophthalmologist Paul must have thought that since 20/20 is normal vision, then 22 exceeded his expectations.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/367tSEn
YT Video of speech: https://bit.ly/3hY5nf6
4). Johnson & Johnson is starting the final stage of their COVID-19 vaccine. So the same people that tried to kill us with baby powder now get to redeem themselves, or kill us with a vaccine.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/332vvkL
5). MTA to formally ban pooping on the subway. Clearly 2020 has raised the bar people, pooping on the subway is so 2019.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/343sxM4
6). Jeff Bezos announces the first Bezos Academy, a free preschool for students from low-income families. If he really wants to have a leg up on ex wifey, maybe he should open the door for these kids to start social networking with the likes of him.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2EDVWUE
7). In Pacifica, CA a mountain lion was seen watching kids play. The lion was chased away by a neighbor and got stiffed for the babysitting gig.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3kKVraA
8). Wells Fargo CEO says that there’s a very limited pool of black talent to recruit from. Well, that explains the limited number of water fountains for blacks at Wells Fargo.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3kQLXLc
Article: https://nbcnews.to/363Y2IF
9). Lori Loughlin got to select the prison where she wants to serve her 2 months sentence. She is so brave for going on vacation during a pandemic.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3i439Lp
Article: https://bit.ly/3kILQRu
10). Trump signs an executive order establishing a national commission to promote patriotic education in schools. Students will be required to bring in the names of at least 5 American traitors they know. Those who refuse to participate will be blacklisted.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3mUVcLS
Article: https://n.pr/3hXhKbm
