Here are the jokes of the week! Written by me, Bri Ribalta!
1). The year 2020 did come with all kinds of twists. Who would have thought the Electoral College would be wrapping up the year getting more attention than the Kardashians?
Tweet: https://bit.ly/37yMEos
2). According to IMDb’s 50 most popular holiday movie, CA’s pick is Edward Scissorhands. So not even during the holidays can Californians stop showing off.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3rgCAYX
Article: http://bit.ly/3nAt4O1
3). In July, Joel Osteen’s megachurch received a $4.4. million Paycheck Protection Plan loan. As the scriptures say, ‘the Lord always provides to those with friends in the federal government.’ Tabarin 4:4
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2LOA245
Article: http://bit.ly/3p6RkYD
4). Researchers in Budapest have concluded that your dog’s brain understands words like a 1 year old child. Some of these human kids make me wonder if the dogs are at an advanced level though.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3h4nC3D
5). So Ann Coulter is now mad people have to eat food. To her surprise not everyone can survive on the souls it sucks out of babies.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2LWagLz
Ann Coulter’s Tweet: https://bit.ly/3pbRePg
6). Only 7 of Stanford’s first 5,000 vaccines were designated for medical residents who come in contact with COVID patients. Stanford has apologized for not anticipating the residents would protest this bullshit.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3mzHnkP
7). Rupert Murdoch received the COVID-19 Vaccine in the U.K.. Fox News’ response to daddy getting vaccinated: well jimbo sjfybr eigevdj toktbfn wugdj sgd.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3nznbks
8). Russia is banned from using it’s flag and anthem at the Olympics or world championships through 2022. Per the ruling, Russian athletes not convicted of cheating can still compete as ‘neutral athletes,’ making sure Russia still participates.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3rcNLlA
9). Biden’s new rescue black cat, Winston, will join the dogs in the White House. The backlash Biden is getting from the Right will be nothing compared to the emotional abuse he’ll get from the new star of a third of the photos in his phone.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3nznQ5q
10). This year a social distanced Santa is coming to you in different ways, including a $750 an hour zoom chat. I hope the reindeer form a work union and get a piece of that action.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/38jTYUf
Article in Tweet
