Jokes for the Week of 08/23/20 – 08/29/20
Here are the jokes of the week! Written by me, Bri Ribalta!
1). Protesters put a guillotine outside Bezos house and demanded better wages and treatment for Amazon workers. Since Bezos is so in tune with the people, he agrees that the guillotine is a great idea to motivate workers.
Article: https://bit.ly/2G8fS2f
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2EDAbUt
2). There’s a Bob Ross-themed version of Monopoly available for pre-sale. The game comes with a brush for each player; at anytime a player will be allowed to start beating the devil out of their brush to take out their frustration.
Article: https://bit.ly/2DdiAT6
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3jokn7g
3). R. Kelly’s attorney says that the singer was attacked in his jail cell by a fellow inmate. I bet R.Kelly wished he could turn back the hands of time and trap himself in a closet.
Article: https://cnn.it/3jrYLH9
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2QAsKQM
4). In regards to the public’s fury over the killings of unarmed black men the police, Herschel Walker says the problem is the video “because when you see the video it looks terrible.” There, he solved it for us small minded people relying on what we see. Now let’s go on and be happy.
Video: https://bit.ly/3gCSIh3
Tweet: https://bit.ly/31BnO4a
5). According to linguistics experts, young people are intimidated by full stops (.) because they seem like a sign of anger in social media messages. Well, for decades the comma has brought people to their knees, so I can see how the period would follow in it’s footsteps.
Article: https://yhoo.it/34GAvwL
Tweet: https://bit.ly/32xLVjH
6). Goya CEO didn’t speak at GOP convention on Weds. citing a ‘logistical problem’. He must have tried to put on his suit before getting his head out of his ass.
Article: https://wapo.st/34LMc5d
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2EzaQve
7). NBC used a photo of Kevin Hart in an article about Usain Bolt being diagnosed with Covid-19. Before judging, let’s note that the two men have a lot in common – like the fact that they’re both black.
Article: https://bit.ly/3jpd138
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2EA79W7
8). IIT Bombay held a virtual graduation for over 2400 graduates using 3D avatars for all students. Shocking how no cases of Covid-19 have been linked to the ceremony.
Article: https://cnn.it/3hCDwBX
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3b2zLTO
9). The Kenosha PD has a message for you. ‘We keep the people we like hydrated.’
Video: https://bit.ly/31AAqsk video only shows police giving him water not the shooting
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3gDM75K
10). Central Park is getting it’s first statue honoring women. After more than 100 years, rest assured that Susan B Anthony, Sojourner Truth, and Elizabeth Candy Stanton will each have a resting bitch face.
Article: https://abcn.ws/3b5K614
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2EEZfdM
11). Tiffany Trump comes out of her cocoon to participate in the RNC and tell us that she’s just like any other graduate trying to make her mark in the family crime business.
YT Video: https://bit.ly/3jjhEM4
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2YKoBhr
12). When watching Guilfoyle’s speech, the street preachers must have been so proud to see one of their own rise up from the streets to the RNC.
YT Video: https://bit.ly/3b3W5MV
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3gwPhZe
13). Kellyanne Conway says she’s leaving the WH to focus on family matters. Translation ‘I’ve sucked out enough souls to know when my time’s almost up.’
Article: https://cnn.it/32Cy5MK
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3hJCnIU
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