Introducing ‘Mis Round Ups’ – A Weekly Joke Column From Bri Ribalta
In this new column, our very own Bri Ribalta skewers the weeks’ news and hottest topics. All these jokes are from her Twitter account. Here are some of the best ones for the week.
Jokes for the Week of 08/09/20 – 08/15/20
1). Earlier this week, Jeanine Pirro suggested that Joe Biden won’t be on the presidential ticket in November because ‘something’s going to happen before the election.’ This woman is the perfect example why you don’t tell your drunk friends the whole plan. https://bit.ly/3axda1l
2). Yesterday, Steve-O was rescued after pulling a publicity stunt by tapping himself to a billboard in Hollywood. Translation: Another mediocre white guy was safely rescued after pulling a jackass move in Hollywood. https://cbsloc.al/2XWxe8n
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2FjmSJ6
3). Ben Shapiro owned himself this week when he shared with the world that according to his doctor wife, women only get wet when they have a gynecological problem. His wife will now explain why they don’t need to have sex, since they have several storks on-call.
His Tweet: https://bit.ly/31NKTj8
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3ar7UfD
4). Madonna is writing a screenplay with Diablo Cody. She has announced this via an Instagram video where she eats while Diablo Cody writes. https://bit.ly/2PPoxs2 (IG video)
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2DKdga8
5). Trump has admitted that he’s attacking the USPS to slow down voting by mail. Seeing that most of his supporters live in rural areas – the areas most affected by this move – he has officially raised the monthly bar on his stupidity. https://bit.ly/2DMGepQ
Tweet: https://bit.ly/30X1ylb
6). It allegedly takes 2hrs to put on Trump’s make-up. Make-up artists definitely need more recognition. 2hrs to make a human looking face is impressive.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3kKrKr1
7). This quarantine has really brought out my competitive side. Sometimes I just reply to top other people’s emojis.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2Y1B001
8). You know your mom didn’t play when you were growing up, if as an adult you hear thunder and the firs thing that comes to mind is wishing you had showered when you had the chance.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/3asJ132
9). If TV was more realistic people would spend more time looking for the right pen to take notes during their work meetings.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/31QvFd7
10). DJ iMarkkeyz made a remix of Ben Shapiro reciting Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s #WAP lyrics, which actually made the sound of Shapiro’s voice bearable. Unfortunately, Ben’s wife was still not turned on.
Tweet: https://bit.ly/2Y3fmsu
You can follow Bri on Twitter @BriRibalta.
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